cheers

let me be real honest with you right now.
my hair is unwashed, thrown up into a mess on the top of my head and slightly slanted to the right.
i guess, for the sake of transparency, let me correct myself.
it is totally slanted to the right.
like-dollops-of-hair-are-tickling-my-right-ear-kind-of-slanted-to-the-right.

i put on a thin layer of foundation at 11 am.
it has since dissolved.
and all my flaws are apparent.

the band on my recently purchased underwear has snapped
and i haven't worn a bra for close to 18 hours.

i look relatively ridiculous.
mildly insane.
read: totally off my rocker

and all this is fine.
because tonight is reserved for one thing and one thing only:
to toast this life at twenty five.

it's not an easy thing to do, evidently.
to sit back and look at all the things you had plotted for your life and to tally up what you have, what you don't have, what you no longer want and any other minor miscalculations along the way.
in fact, it sucks.

i thought twenty-five was going to the year.
i would be independent and taking over the world in whatever career i chose.
wrong.
so wrong.
and it took so long to come to terms with just how wrong i ended up being.
and, for transparency sake, i'm still learning how to cope.

it's a difficult thing to make peace with the grand ol' expectations vs. reality.
it's a delicate balance of mourning what you yet to have and welcoming what is yet to be.

i could mourn. or i could toast.
there is still some time to carpe this fucking diem.
so i toast.